Dora and the Lost City of Gold
I had a morbid fascination with this when I heard it was coming out. Really? A live-action “Dora” movie? Where Dora is now in high school and the film actively breaks the fourth-wall to poke fun at the tropes from the show? It shouldn’t have worked. Who is the audience for this? Turns out: seniors! My 83-year-old father-in-law was thoroughly entertained even if he had trouble reading the subtitles.
I was also moderately charmed despite being exhausted from a long day and on the verge of falling asleep for about 60% of it. It had a Tomb Raider-vibe that was fun; the casting was good (Benicio Del Toro was an inspired choice for Swiper the Fox); and there’s a startling sequence where everything turns animated: but that only served to remind me what the movie COULD have been. Yes, kids are stupid and will watch ANYTHING you put in front of them so long as it’s visually-interesting and funny and Lost City of Gold was both in good measure. But I was expecting a feature-length cartoon movie that maybe starts in the same format as the TV show and then could extend into SPACE or somewhere else trippy, with a larger animation budget like the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie or either of the Spongebob features. As a live-action film there was a derivativeness I couldn’t ignore when there are other movies taking bigger risks. Maybe I’m just a jaded adult who doesn’t know a good time without sex and/or violence.
Falling Inn Love
A Netflix movie without its own, independent post. Do I not care? I was without cares to begin with. Netflix’s output is so all-over-the-place that I never know if I’m going to like something or hate it, and usually I go in ready to hate. I was ready to hate Falling Inn Love. A romantic comedy made for 20-bucks on a long weekend, former R&B star Christina Milian plays wannabe entrepreneur Gabriela whose career is stalled by a glass ceiling (along with a boss whose name is CHAD) and a boyfriend who isn’t ready to commit. When both collapse, she decides to take a chance and move to New Zealand where she has won the lease to a dilapidated inn. With the help of the local Hunk (and BEST CONTRACTOR IN QUEENSLAND) she relaunches the inn; finds love; and defeats the evil bed-and-breakfast owner who wants to buy the hotel from under her and turn it into a franchise! It’s predictable; it’s cheesy; it’s Lifetime Movie-of-the-Week at its most paint-by-numbers. But Milian is a charismatic, likable lead that carries it even during its most excruciating moments (like Gabby hiding behind some manure to avoid the Hunk, and a back-and-forth montage of Gabby and the Hunk waiting for each other to text); and it’s only 90-minutes. Guys, watch it with your girls and earn some points.
Surprise Music Review: The Ghosts That Haunt Me
Here’s something I originally wrote in the middle of August when I was trying to draw a new comic with every post and ended up falling ridiculously behind. I have decided to include it here because I don’t know what else to do with it:
Thought I would try something a little different. Again. I love listening to music but am not educated ABOUT music. Generalized critical writing is cross-media, isn’t it? Am I supposed to describe my reaction to an album like reviewing a fine wine? If it is, then The Ghosts That Haunt Me by the Crash Test Dummies is a buttery red disguised as a white, slightly toasty but rarely angular. Did I do that right?
I tried to have no expectations as I put this – their debut album – on in the car while stuck in construction traffic, but I was thinking it would be more grungy. That’s just where my mind went. I couldn’t have been more wrong when the band started playing in an alt-rock meets progressive-bluegrass style similar to Dave Matthews Band, which I love. And as soon as singer Brad Roberts began belting it was like a great big hug from a time when Pearl Jam and Hootie and the Blowfish were first on the radio. Speaking of Hootie, CTD are Canadian too, which is something us Canadians always seem obliged to point out when it comes up. So if that matters to you, there you go. Didn’t matter to me and it made no difference to my listening experience.
No, I was pleasantly entertained for its brief duration, and I have been entertained by many nations. It was a fun, bouncy listen, with NO songs I had heard before and nothing over 5-minutes in length (the rule applies to music, too). The only song I really didn’t like was Superman’s Song, which was apparently their most popular. My partner’s CD collection is usually based off radio singles so never hearing this one before was exciting, but ultimately underwhelming. Roberts’ lyricism settles on the changes we could make but fundamentally don’t (such as in the timeless Androgynous and Comin’ Back Soon), but the ambivalence that rewards repeat listening isn’t there on Superman’s Song: it’s a metaphor for the fortitude of the common man as told via the Man of Steel but it’s very obvious with a lack of irony to it. It SOUNDS OK, but it doesn’t say anything original. That isn’t something I can say for the rest of the album. 1 out of 10 ain’t bad.
Sidebar: there has been some pressure lately to write my will. I’m only 31 yet somehow life keeps reminding me to prepare for my death, 69 years from now (hey! Didn’t think of that before!). When I die, I want At My Funeral to play at my funeral. Great way to end ANY album. Very sad, very true.
//jf 9.9.19
theory of a daskeman 