A poem for LMI.

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last night,
i dreamt of us.

it was at a party.
you know,
like the ones you used to throw,
once again unsettled by no one i knew.
but i would if i kept looking,

and then i thought i had found you.
not even from across the room i turned to see you
sitting cross legged on the kitchen counter
just like how i had always pictured you,
ignoring me.

and this projection,
in due time it spoke like you,
carefree and senseless,
and i thought to myself
“i thought i had finally gotten over you.”

but that copper hair weaved its lore anew
and i was drawn back into our world.
however brief it was,
we shared solemn ground as friends
without the sicknesses ensconcing us two

and as our time together was nearly through
a shrewdness descended over your ingenue face,
and i realized
that it wasn’t you.

and i began to place fragments of a life i never knew
amid the devastation of the one i do
on to this double that reminded me of you.

and i realized
that it was never you.
the face you wore
was of a twin i never knew.

//jf 1.29.2020

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