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she lost all that baby fat just for me.
that’s what i see

and it’s disappointing.
she didn’t have to do that, butt-ass naked
but you can’t change what isn’t yours’ to blame.

he scares me when he stares
and when he doesn’t speak to me
or when we’re side-by-side and i say “hi”
and he just outright ignores me.

she keeps it up, week after week,
while i dismiss her in reality but cling while i dream.
there isn’t anyone else
who captivates me as much
from one-hundred-and-forty-four feet away.

i don’t know, maybe ten years ago?
he’s jumped around departments more than i have
but always seems to end up just down from where i am.
no, he has a wife
and she’s nice
and i wouldn’t do anything to wreck my work life.

and as i keep seeing her day after day
my imagination leads me astray –
so far as i’m concerned,
she looked at me first
because that’s just the sort of headstrong thing she would do.
but there’s probably just something wrong with her kid.

what did i do? this is punishing!
going to work now feels violating
that i’m forced to work beside this guy
and i can’t even report him ’cause it’s my word against his why.
for that i’d have to ask him
when i would rather just forget him entirely.

she calls in sick again –
our third friday in a row.
it’s lucky i never committed her fully
to memory
or i’d never be able to stop thinking about her at all.
bi-polar freak, fucking creep:
these are the things that stop me in my sleep.

//jf 11.13.2021

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