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another tale of misery and woe.

walking in a department store and what do i see?
at the end of aisle three,
at eye-level staring back at me, personally?
a giant picture of a hot woman’s ass on the box for an elliptical machine.
the power of publicity.

so i’m standing there, ogling,
trying to figure out what it means:
how did her lower body get to look so lean?
squat-lifting lumber? genes?
maybe she was hiding some cellulite i couldn’t see?
and let me tell you, she was under some pretty heavy scrutiny –
twelve-year-old me would be hiding behind a clothing rack
grinding off on some slacks,
that chick is stacked!

it’s the kind of ass made to be advertised,
like a nice pair of breasts
made to wear brassieres in a Sears magazine.
surely every woman wants a nice ass to attract a man,
and every straight man is attracted to a nice ass.
this is of the heterosexual persuasion i’m speaking.

now:
a woman may be attracted to a MAN’S ass,
but no straight man wants to stare at another man’s ass for longer than is necessary
unless they’re into that sort of thing.
you don’t see a guy’s ass getting promoted,
but that’s the double-standard of the industry:
that it’s easier to sell an elliptical machine with a woman’s ass the size of my head
to all genders
than it is to sell one with a man’s ass instead.

so what did it all ultimately mean
for a man like me
with a Hank Hill bum
and the fact that i’m married?
it henceforth means that I’m contractually-obligated now
to tell you all that Her booty goes POW!

//jf 3.12.2022

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Photo by Alena Shekhovtcova on Pexels.com. LOL to the picture description (“sleepy woman lying on bed in morning”)! Pexels, if you don’t give me an option, then I will ALWAYS go for the boudoir shot. //jf