---

you find yourself, reader,
in wicked spirit
being led by my dangled carrot into a modern family home
that to the modern teen, may as well be a modern garrote –
her room, her bed, her throne –
Mom thinks there must be something going on
cause the smell from the dining room downstairs
reeks like a bong:
“but how do you know that, Miss Antoinette? are you sure?

“it’s because of the parties to which i’ve been lured.
i haven’t actually smoked any. don’t be so perturbed –

“well how would you know it was weed
unless you were standing so close to them you could see?
then wouldn’t it be in the air that you breathe?
hmmm?
do you need me to get you a cup
into which you can pee?

“i didn’t have any, OK? JEEZ.

“now that’s something on which the tick-tock would not agree!
why should what you say make me believe?
you teenagers think us adults so naive,
but i have a community of online moms that have taught me to perceive!
and they’ve also taught me how to take
unlimited sick leave
to get back at that Company to which i’m engrieved!

“we’re broke Mom? seriously?
no wonder all we have to wear are Dad’s briefs!

“CAN IT with your little leitmotivs
about the only clean underwear we can afford on his salary!
anyway, can’t we have a day just you, your sister, and me
and put off the inevitable fight to proceed?
i can teach you both to weave!
then a steady income on Etsy i would receive!

“WE ARE NOT YOUR SWEATSHOP, MOM!
have mercy!
this isn’t the Soviet Union, fucking Communist Party!
“oh! WATCH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH WHEN YOU’RE TALKING TO ME!

“sorry! sorry!
but can’t you see,
that it’s my precious time of which you thieve?
grant me a reprieve!
please!
before the eve!

“you got better things to do, Missy?
just what is it on your phone that you hope to achieve
once I leave?
“nothing! gah!
to the Lord Almighty, i grieve!
i just want to watch “Mormon Boys” in peace!

“you know, while you sit here and bereave
about how bad in the First World you get treat,
you could pick up the clothes at my feet
and do a load of laundry before we’re ready to eat –

“FINE.

“you aren’t just saying that?
“NO, I AGREE!
now LEAVE
before i cleave a shrieve named Steve at the library!
and on and on.

//jf 5.28.2022

---

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com