Now Available on Laserdisc: Disney’s Aladdin Double Feature

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I have a small (ish, only around 300!) collection of laserdiscs. Laserdiscs were the DVD equivalent of the late-80s and early-90s: the premium alternative to VHS’ budget leader. They are heavy, unwieldy, and shiny: giant two-sided compact discs the size of LP records glued together in the middle. Circumstances have led me to slowly sell off the collection (among other things, a local record store wanted $5 for a Japanese copy of Robocop 2!), but I’ve been whittling away at it for so long all that’s left are movies I’m really not that interested in watching. Let’s purge them together!

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Jay’s Take: Shaft 2019

ptroz

Shaft, the 1971 original, is a product of its time: a blaxploitation picture with a simple crime story driven by a cheeky lead hero. Shaft, the 2000 remake, is a product of its time: an attempt to shoehorn a diluted version of the brand-cough-character into a competent John Singleton urban crime thriller. Shaft, the 2019 reboot of the series, is a product of its time: shot and edited like a CBS primetime drama with a plot that would fit a 40-minute episode of Hawaii Five-O but stretched out to almost two hours. Thankfully, Shaft 19 (which is what Warner was hoping for, I’m sure) is probably the most successful of the three movies I’ve seen, in nailing the core character in an unoffensive plot that he served instead of domineering or underperforming in.

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Jay’s Take: Child’s Play 2019

ptroz

got to the theatre too late for shaft 2019. devastating! thank god its summertime at the movies, which means there are plenty of remake/reboot/sequel opportunities at the local multiplex! childs play the remake is competently made, with aubrey plaza in various states of undress as andys hot mom and mark hamill acceptably replacing brad douriff as the voice of chucky. im a purist so i wasnt sure how the casting was going to hold up but it didnt offend me and the movie had some good individual kills, including a dude getting his face ripped off by a lawn aerator. and its only ninety minutes long!

however.

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Selected Scenes: Shaft 2000

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shaft sr’s nephew john shaft is just as smooth talking and smooth striding as his uncle, walking down the middle of the wrong side of busy roads and cold cocking insolent young honkeys. but todays scene isnt about shaft himself, but a small time drug dealer in harlem named peoples. there isnt anything particularly interesting about peoples. hes an archetypical latin american who wears egyptian wool and likes to stab people with his wooden handled icepick. but when shaft kills his younger brother in a shoot out, a different side of him comes out. the side he would play up but that we hadnt seen till now. the side that would do anything for his peoples, especially his family. in a fury of emotion he begins walking towards shaft, brandishing his pick screaming “you might as well kill me too”. a look falls over shafts face. maybe one that has seen this before. one that is sick of the killing. maybe a look that says hes sorry, or that he understands.

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Selected Scenes: Shaft

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private investigator john shaft is one bad mother, and everybody wants a piece of him: the white police of the nypd keep pressing him for leads; a prominent black gangster wants him to find his kidnapped daughter; and all the while every piece of tail on two legs wants a night with the man whos a sex machine to all the chicks. cop vic androzzi thinks hes got shafts number though: heres a guy who knows everyone on the street and how to get to them, with a reputation of getting the job done. even if his racist partner doesnt agree, androzzi thinks shaft and him can form a partnership. what he doesnt know is shaft is playing him right back, hustling him for information while giving up nothing in return. because shaft doesnt owe anything to the cops, and especially not to the white man trying to get him down! androzzi holds up a black pen to shafts face and tells him hes not so black after all. shaft holds a white coffee cup up to androzzi and tells him hes not so white, either. sometimes you cant win.

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