there is a point
at which a confident man can no longer internalize.
he must act on these burgeoning emotions
with a conscious, determined catharsis.
in these times of crisis,
tranquility could mean leaping from the Manhattan bridge
on a hot Summer’s day.
everyone hello, and good evening! i hope you are enjoying yourselves at my expense! for those who dont know, i am paul! yes, yes your applause pleases me greatly. thank you. once a year we open the manor to our closest friends in celebration! celebration of another year! another school year! another year of steves bald head so fucking shiny it looks like his moms waxed asshole! another year just to say we made it. we call this the long night! thank you, thank you, but remember this was a team effort. so from the bottom of my heart i want to thank each and every one of you, newbies included, for making the last four years devoid of any police intervention! as you all know i am not one to pass off an opportunity to get everyones attention and less likely to give it away once ive got it, so as you can see our good friend andrew is going around the room handing out shot glasses, you will want to keep those and a shot of warrens dads everclear brought to you in a stylish, glass gallon jug, just let me know when everyones set up. good? ok first a toast to the long night, to four successful years and, i hope whoever lives here in september can find their own thing because this night is ours! to the night!
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BLLLAAAACCCKKOOouughhhh couuuffffff huuuuuuuuHHHHHHHHH AAHHHHHooooooOOOOO HOOOOO HOOOOO HUUUUUUUHhhhhhhhhhhhh!
[I have seen Holy Grail more times cumulatively then possibly any other movie ever. It’s not really that funny anymore and it’s dated HORRIBLY (just look at that camera focusing), but it holds a special place in my heart after seeing clips of its most famous scenes in various places over the years as well as sitting through the whole thing a few times (just a few?); AND beating the PC game, which is TOP-loaded with clips. I’ve seen it so many times that I was able to notice the narration was different in the Flashback screening I went to at Cineplex, which sounded like they used a different take of Michael Palin during the storybook sequences (but didn’t have him come back in and rerecord it at 80-years-old, for example). This could have been because a remaster of the original audio track was impossible (I have seen the movie in mono many times) but there was no mention of a remaster on the posters or in the film itself so it was jarring hearing inflections I wasn’t used to. I liken it to hearing a popular song and then finding out it wasn’t the first version they recorded: even a classic takes more then one try.]
Continue readingthe break room at two thirty. morris wong, fifty two, sits next to chigane, another dime a dozen teenaged filipina with a potmarked face buried in her phone. morris’ warm congee scented breath can be felt on her shoulder but she doesnt recede. she leans in to him instead, laughing, pointing out the funny cat on her feed. joseline walks by and morris straightens himself, waking chi out of her digital stupor.
are you still coming to celias party tonight?
i told you no already. his accent is milder then his looks suggest.
why not?
we talked about this already.
i know.
its just not appropriate.
i know. she bats her mascaraed eyes. morris is a fool for her eyes.
then why do you keep asking?
i don’t know.
i want us to be more open too, just not yet. you know what people will say. she recedes, expecting a different result. hey morris?
he looks up to see steve, the colossi store manager. he has their full attention.
what’s up?
can i see you in my office?
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I had a morbid fascination with this when I heard it was coming out. Really? A live-action “Dora” movie? Where Dora is now in high school and the film actively breaks the fourth-wall to poke fun at the tropes from the show? It shouldn’t have worked. Who is the audience for this? Turns out: seniors! My 83-year-old father-in-law was thoroughly entertained even if he had trouble reading the subtitles.
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theory of a daskeman 