That non-licensed free-use Netflix logo (that I made myself, thank you) will have to do until I watch more Netflix. Netflix Netflix Netflix you can’t get away from it. More than fifty-percent of the film and television production in my area is for Netflix. Now they are advertising on bus shelters. That’s how my partner and I agreed to watch it: because we were bombarded by this ONE choice on a service that I can spend minutes scrolling looking for content that appeals to me and find NOTHING. My partner loves the service though, especially those dime-a-dozen “teen vampire academy being attacked by werewolves from another dimension” shows. So it isn’t my first choice to pick something there. But like I said, there was NO OTHER OPTION. Even with the bus shelter poster being vandalized it proudly proclaimed that even you, yes YOU, can watch this NOW on Netflix. Fuck why not try it for free? You have NO EXCUSE. Okay okay okay I’ll watch your Ali Wong romcom if you’ll just stop annoying me. But they don’t stop. Now they know. My carefully-curated list of Shark Tank and Star Trek TNG is RUINED.
Continue readingCategory: 2019
Jay’s Take: Midsommar
Out goes Shaft and with it the possibility of another franchise (but maybe another remake in twenty years) and in comes the latest horror/exercise in dread from Ari Aster, the director of Hereditary. I thought Hereditary was too long; not scary enough; and that its ending was derivative (see The Skeleton Key, Tale of the Mummy). But I did like its atmosphere and its chutzpah: killing Collette’s youngest so early and so unapologetically was a nice touch. Midsommar raises the same complaints for me that the previous did: it’s too long; it wasn’t scary; and the ending was derivative. But damned if it didn’t drip atmosphere and tension for a good chunk of the running time, and have the chutzpah to dispose of its roster of deserving idiot victims in such a contemptuous way.
Continue readingSelected Scenes: The Mustang
Roman and his horse Marquis are like twins: both are stubborn and prone to anger; both have to hit themselves over the head a hundred times until they make any progress; and both are incorrigible, wild beasts, out of place in their respective worlds. Roman has been in prison twelve years for a crippling assault on his wife; in and out of solitary confinement and unwilling to rehabilitate consciously, the horse training program is maybe his last opportunity as a normal life. But what is normal? To Roman, normal is living with the pain of what he has done, and a debilitating hostility that could explode into violence at any moment. Marquis (pronounced Marcus) is a brutish mustang, part of a cull to help control the wild population and to rear the captured for auction. Marquis is resistant from the very beginning, even leading a frustrated Roman to physically beat the horse in resentment, but a bond forms between the two on a mutual understanding and of course the unconditional love of this horse to his human (like Roman’s unconditional love to his estranged daughter). The ten week program is over and it’s the day of the auction. Roman and Marquis are last on the block, and Marquis is restless, unable to stay in formation for the national anthem and now uncontrollable on the reins. He throws Roman from the saddle and drags him, before head butting him, giving him an injury much like the one he gave his wife all those years ago. Are we able to reform if we are already congruent to our faults? Is the choice between physical and emotional freedom as cut and dry?
Continue readingNow Available on Laserdisc: Disney’s Aladdin Double Feature

I have a small (ish, only around 300!) collection of laserdiscs. Laserdiscs were the DVD equivalent of the late-80s and early-90s: the premium alternative to VHS’ budget leader. They are heavy, unwieldy, and shiny: giant two-sided compact discs the size of LP records glued together in the middle. Circumstances have led me to slowly sell off the collection (among other things, a local record store wanted $5 for a Japanese copy of Robocop 2!), but I’ve been whittling away at it for so long all that’s left are movies I’m really not that interested in watching. Let’s purge them together!
Continue readingJay’s Take: Shaft 2019
Shaft, the 1971 original, is a product of its time: a blaxploitation picture with a simple crime story driven by a cheeky lead hero. Shaft, the 2000 remake, is a product of its time: an attempt to shoehorn a diluted version of the brand-cough-character into a competent John Singleton urban crime thriller. Shaft, the 2019 reboot of the series, is a product of its time: shot and edited like a CBS primetime drama with a plot that would fit a 40-minute episode of Hawaii Five-O but stretched out to almost two hours. Thankfully, Shaft 19 (which is what Warner was hoping for, I’m sure) is probably the most successful of the three movies I’ve seen, in nailing the core character in an unoffensive plot that he served instead of domineering or underperforming in.
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