Category: original content

Capsule Reviews Vol.2

capsule review 2

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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[I have seen Holy Grail more times cumulatively then possibly any other movie ever. It’s not really that funny anymore and it’s dated HORRIBLY (just look at that camera focusing), but it holds a special place in my heart after seeing clips of its most famous scenes in various places over the years as well as sitting through the whole thing a few times (just a few?); AND beating the PC game, which is TOP-loaded with clips. I’ve seen it so many times that I was able to notice the narration was different in the Flashback screening I went to at Cineplex, which sounded like they used a different take of Michael Palin during the storybook sequences (but didn’t have him come back in and rerecord it at 80-years-old, for example). This could have been because a remaster of the original audio track was impossible (I have seen the movie in mono many times) but there was no mention of a remaster on the posters or in the film itself so it was jarring hearing inflections I wasn’t used to. I liken it to hearing a popular song and then finding out it wasn’t the first version they recorded: even a classic takes more then one try.]

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the message

A short story for mature readers.

“A retail worker is confronted by harassment allegations.”

the break room at two thirty. morris wong, fifty two, sits next to chigane, another dime a dozen teenaged filipina with a potmarked face buried in her phone. morris’ warm congee scented breath can be felt on her shoulder but she doesnt recede. she leans in to him instead, laughing, pointing out the funny cat on her feed. joseline walks by and morris straightens himself, waking chi out of her digital stupor.

are you still coming to celias party tonight?

i told you no already. his accent is milder then his looks suggest.

why not?

we talked about this already.

i know.

its just not appropriate.

i know. she bats her mascaraed eyes. morris is a fool for her eyes.

then why do you keep asking?

i don’t know.

i want us to be more open too, just not yet. you know what people will say. she recedes, expecting a different result. hey morris?

he looks up to see steve, the colossi store manager. he has their full attention.

what’s up?

can i see you in my office?

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Capsule Reviews Vol.1

capsule review 1

Dora and the Lost City of Gold

I had a morbid fascination with this when I heard it was coming out. Really? A live-action “Dora” movie? Where Dora is now in high school and the film actively breaks the fourth-wall to poke fun at the tropes from the show? It shouldn’t have worked. Who is the audience for this? Turns out: seniors! My 83-year-old father-in-law was thoroughly entertained even if he had trouble reading the subtitles.

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what do you feel like watching tonight?

new comic thing

A short story.

i dunno.

you never know.

i know i know, i’m just not a big tv watcher. you know that. youre lucky im still awake, im beat from working at the mill all day.

well here, give me the remote.

no you tell me what you want to watch and ill go to it.

i dont believe you!

come on why not?

you always do this, you say that i can pick and then i pick something and you say no!

what are you talking about, i never do that!

ok put on the new melissa mccarthy movie.

no no no

see? told you!

its just im allergic to bullshit.

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Jay’s Take: The Hustle

HUSTLE

I won’t go to see a movie because there’s a good-looking woman broadcasted as being in it, but I know who I personally find sexy and who I don’t, and when I do – especially in a big-budget Hollywood production like Hobbs & Shaw – it is validation for a machine that is already operating at full velocity to tell me, THERE IS SOMEONE HOT IN THIS MOVIE. NIICE. And I smack myself on the hand any time it happens (mentally) but this is a primal nature and nothing to do with this or that about sexual and/or gender rights and equality. I’ll mention it if the machine worked on me, because – subconsciously or not – I’m sure it makes me enjoy the movie more. If I don’t mention it, it’s not because the actress isn’t good looking in her own right. But I will ALWAYS strive to mention their acting quality. Because that’s really what they’re getting paid for. Isn’t it?

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