Category: netflix

Capsule Reviews Vol.2

capsule review 2

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

BLLLAAAACCCKKOOouughhhh couuuffffff  huuuuuuuuHHHHHHHHH AAHHHHHooooooOOOOO HOOOOO HOOOOO HUUUUUUUHhhhhhhhhhhhh!

[I have seen Holy Grail more times cumulatively then possibly any other movie ever. It’s not really that funny anymore and it’s dated HORRIBLY (just look at that camera focusing), but it holds a special place in my heart after seeing clips of its most famous scenes in various places over the years as well as sitting through the whole thing a few times (just a few?); AND beating the PC game, which is TOP-loaded with clips. I’ve seen it so many times that I was able to notice the narration was different in the Flashback screening I went to at Cineplex, which sounded like they used a different take of Michael Palin during the storybook sequences (but didn’t have him come back in and rerecord it at 80-years-old, for example). This could have been because a remaster of the original audio track was impossible (I have seen the movie in mono many times) but there was no mention of a remaster on the posters or in the film itself so it was jarring hearing inflections I wasn’t used to. I liken it to hearing a popular song and then finding out it wasn’t the first version they recorded: even a classic takes more then one try.]

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Capsule Reviews Vol.1

capsule review 1

Dora and the Lost City of Gold

I had a morbid fascination with this when I heard it was coming out. Really? A live-action “Dora” movie? Where Dora is now in high school and the film actively breaks the fourth-wall to poke fun at the tropes from the show? It shouldn’t have worked. Who is the audience for this? Turns out: seniors! My 83-year-old father-in-law was thoroughly entertained even if he had trouble reading the subtitles.

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Jay’s Take: The Hustle

HUSTLE

I won’t go to see a movie because there’s a good-looking woman broadcasted as being in it, but I know who I personally find sexy and who I don’t, and when I do – especially in a big-budget Hollywood production like Hobbs & Shaw – it is validation for a machine that is already operating at full velocity to tell me, THERE IS SOMEONE HOT IN THIS MOVIE. NIICE. And I smack myself on the hand any time it happens (mentally) but this is a primal nature and nothing to do with this or that about sexual and/or gender rights and equality. I’ll mention it if the machine worked on me, because – subconsciously or not – I’m sure it makes me enjoy the movie more. If I don’t mention it, it’s not because the actress isn’t good looking in her own right. But I will ALWAYS strive to mention their acting quality. Because that’s really what they’re getting paid for. Isn’t it?

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Jay’s Take: The Great Hack

NETFLIX2
The greatest hack the devil ever pulled was making the world believe he was just a Facebook personality test.

Typical Netflix. Cambridge Analytica rose to public consciousness when Trump won the 2016 election so since then, we have had innumerable news reports; documentaries; movies; new files in the investigation coming to light; etc etc etc. As long as there is air we will NEVER FORGET about the security compromise that SHOCKED A GENERATION (sic Monty Python). I followed along when the story broke (only because I couldn’t get away from it) but never thought it directly affected ME, personally. I know that online is no longer a safe bastion and possibly never was: that ANYONE can read ANYTHING you publish, ANYTIME, even when you delete it! So why post anything incriminating? But people do all the time and it is for these people this movie was made: a step-by-step breakdown of the events that led CA to bankruptcy; Zukerburg under fire; and a whole new hashtag for the internet to use to protest the lack of online privacy.

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Jay’s Take: Escape Plan 3

twobuffdudes

We are in to uncharted territory here; something that Escape Plan 3 knows nothing about. I was disappointed with the new Lion King because the cold, realistic tone of live-action took away from the visual imagination of animation. There is no visual imagination in Escape Plan 3. Ninety-percent of the film takes place in a vile, puke colored prison (the same where Shawshank was filmed!) whose inhabitants notice the bloodied and crispy linens. In this high-security Latvian prison, Devon Sawa (the boy from the first Final Destination movie! That’s where I knew him from) has kidnapped the daughter of a wealthy Chinese tech mogul for some reason (the copy I watched had no English subtitles, but I can tell you it all felt terribly dramatic). THEN he goes and kidnaps the daughter of Sylvester Stallone’s security expert Ray Breslin – presumably to lure him out of hiding – which as we all know is a BIG MISTAKE. Breslin’s specialty is breaking out of prisons to test their weaknesses, but will this mission push him to his own breaking point? STAY TUNED.

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