a boy walks into a bar

A micro story read in-the-style-of Sam Elliott.


I reckon that’s whiskey you’re drinking there, partner. Me, too. Nothing beats the stuff. Seems to go down smoother each time you drink it. Me, I’ve been drinking the stuff longer than I can recall. Longer than I bet your momma ever been with your pops! Yep, I’ve been around a while. Long enough to see a few things in my time. Things that change a man. I reckon there’s less out there that makes a man a man than the life he already lives. And what’s a life without learning a few lessons along the way, huh? Lessons that I can pass down? That’s right, I’m going to tell you a story…

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in memory of gregory hoblitt

A short story for mature readers.

“A celebration-of-life for a departed friend turns into a public spectacle.”

everyone hello, and good evening! i hope you are enjoying yourselves at my expense! for those who dont know, i am paul! yes, yes your applause pleases me greatly. thank you. once a year we open the manor to our closest friends in celebration! celebration of another year! another school year! another year of steves bald head so fucking shiny it looks like his moms waxed asshole! another year just to say we made it. we call this the long night! thank you, thank you, but remember this was a team effort. so from the bottom of my heart i want to thank each and every one of you, newbies included, for making the last four years devoid of any police intervention! as you all know i am not one to pass off an opportunity to get everyones attention and less likely to give it away once ive got it, so as you can see our good friend andrew is going around the room handing out shot glasses, you will want to keep those and a shot of warrens dads everclear brought to you in a stylish, glass gallon jug, just let me know when everyones set up. good? ok first a toast to the long night, to four successful years and, i hope whoever lives here in september can find their own thing because this night is ours! to the night!

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