or, I fucking hate those shoes.
A poem.
it doesn’t matter who you are
and it doesn’t matter what you do,
because if you wear those ugly shoes
in front of me
i swear to God i’ll fucking puke
without prejudice.
you all say they’re comfortable but
like a TikTok flat-Earther
i know the truth:
they’re really for labeling hipster goofs.
you know the ones i’m saying to you.
i’ve managed to dodge a pair
ruining our shoe rack like onion
to any other food,
but you were all wearing them as early as ’92:
you could be Meg Tilly or Sara Flynn;
you could be Little Orphan Shelley
(or Shell-Dogg, as she’s known on the Strip) –
this isn’t news.
so from one man to you,
please stop wearing those goddamned shoes.
or boots, whatever.
i hate them
and i want to stop avoiding
Granville Island.
//wd 8.9.2026
