like waters before us,
I pictured a wall
that would separate us from them.
at first I thought my force of will had faded
until
a barricade, a band-aid
contrived by those we stood-fast to reject.
and while their wall was never meant for us,
but them, to keep us outsiders at bay,
I claim it, in Our name.
now they can never take it away.
//jf 9.9.2020
its a way to matter.
to show people you care
past your hard, judgmental stare.
never mind your hearts a flutter
and your stomach tense
and the first impression layered and dense.
humans are fragile
and we tend to crack.
bottle the air from a lifetime of breath
and a legacy wont outlive its trail.
//jf 7.11.2020
always sick
always in pain
they told you not to fret
as you hunched yourself over the oxygen tank.
“that lump on your chest is worth its weight in gold.”
you play with your breasts.
those photos online impressed your friends.
days spill over to weeks on end.
you don’t know how many more of your lies you can spin.
//jf 7.8.2020
i prowl methodically,
judicious in my seeing
but there has to be days when you just let it go.
where you just be.
and you communicate
in that old imitable way that our youth betrays.
i hope youre okay
and that your hair still hangs,
with eyes that stare through the bangs.
the tears would well up in your face
when we talked about how we loved
betrothed and entwined
through our own slippery grasp of experience combined.
just the slightest bit of skin is like a beacon,
beckoning for reason.
so when the unreasonable becomes your cure,
please dont lose my number.
//jf 6.13.2020
isolation with my lover is a dogfight of disposition.
who can get to the tv first?
i imagine a future with no internet
and being lost on the couch in her world.
why dont we do something,
anything else?
im too tired for anything else, she cries,
making sure the neighbors hear who is in charge.
i imagine a future with no electricity
and she is lost in the covers of her own despondent world.
why dont we do something,
anything else?
im too depressed for anything else, she moans
making sure to spread her piteousness
on the burnt, black toast of my indifference.
i imagine a future where she is gone
and the lights inside are permanently dimmed
and i am sitting outside by myself in the quiet of natures dawn.
i am reading.
soon ill be reeling.
i would rather have someone than no one.
//jf 6.10.2020
theory of a daskeman 