Now Available on Laserdisc: A Perfect World

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“Everything under the sun is in tune, but the sun is eclipsed by the moon.”

Clint Eastwood. The man with the ever-brusque facial expression. Western hero turned cop hero turned cineaste with an output that rivals Woody Allen: in quantity and quality. I mean terrible. Wait, I don’t mean terrible. I mean “not for me”. His directorial efforts are not for me. You see, Eastwood seems to make movies that fit his own demographic: seniors that need everything spelled out for them.

Clint isn’t one for subtlety or ambiguity: his characters are often expressing exactly how they are feeling; and if they don’t express it, then someone else will put the words in their mouth. He wants the viewer to feel unburdened by things like subtext and metaphors. He wants you to “be on the same page”. A few examples: Sully, the discouraged aircraft pilot simulator; Mystic River, the child sex trauma victim simulator; and Invictus, the Nelson Mandela fanclub simulator. I use the word “simulator” because Clint’s movies are deliberately-paced for maximum pragmatism. You start to “feel” for Sully’s social isolation; for Dave Boyle’s self-inflicted alienation; for how stoked you’d be to get the chance to meet Nelson Mandela.

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Jay’s Take: The Hustle

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I won’t go to see a movie because there’s a good-looking woman broadcasted as being in it, but I know who I personally find sexy and who I don’t, and when I do – especially in a big-budget Hollywood production like Hobbs & Shaw – it is validation for a machine that is already operating at full velocity to tell me, THERE IS SOMEONE HOT IN THIS MOVIE. NIICE. And I smack myself on the hand any time it happens (mentally) but this is a primal nature and nothing to do with this or that about sexual and/or gender rights and equality. I’ll mention it if the machine worked on me, because – subconsciously or not – I’m sure it makes me enjoy the movie more. If I don’t mention it, it’s not because the actress isn’t good looking in her own right. But I will ALWAYS strive to mention their acting quality. Because that’s really what they’re getting paid for. Isn’t it?

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Jay’s Take: Hobbs & Shaw

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Everyone seems to remember watching Tokyo Drift, but don’t actually remember what happened in it, or what happened to Lucas Black’s career after he tried taking over for Diesel (maybe there WILL be a Sling Blade 2?). Whatever transpired behind the scenes, someone in a suit decided then that the whole format of the series had to change. Removed almost-entirely was the car culture and racing that was the original trilogy’s bread-and-butter; the original cast was brought back and references to “family” and “sticking together” were amped to 11; and every action scene seemed like it had to outdo the one before it. So birthed the “new generation” of F+F movies with the fourth one in 2009, BRILLIANTLY titled Fast & Furious, and the series stayed relatively consistent for a while. With the fifth (Fast Five) and sixth (Fast & Furious 6) movies in 2011 and 2013 respectively they stuck to Lin’s formula; brought back popular characters from the first three movies and shoehorned them together; and strung them all along in a shared-universe plot. 6 also introduced our titular team to Dwayne Johnson’s hard-as-nails cop Luke Hobbs and Jason Statham’s bad-guy-turned-good Deckard Shaw.

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Jay’s Take: The Great Hack

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The greatest hack the devil ever pulled was making the world believe he was just a Facebook personality test.

Typical Netflix. Cambridge Analytica rose to public consciousness when Trump won the 2016 election so since then, we have had innumerable news reports; documentaries; movies; new files in the investigation coming to light; etc etc etc. As long as there is air we will NEVER FORGET about the security compromise that SHOCKED A GENERATION (sic Monty Python). I followed along when the story broke (only because I couldn’t get away from it) but never thought it directly affected ME, personally. I know that online is no longer a safe bastion and possibly never was: that ANYONE can read ANYTHING you publish, ANYTIME, even when you delete it! So why post anything incriminating? But people do all the time and it is for these people this movie was made: a step-by-step breakdown of the events that led CA to bankruptcy; Zukerburg under fire; and a whole new hashtag for the internet to use to protest the lack of online privacy.

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