or, I fucking hate those shoes.

A poem.

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it doesn’t matter who you are

and it doesn’t matter what you do,
because if you wear those ugly shoes
in front of me
i swear to God i’ll fucking puke
without prejudice.

you all say they’re comfortable but
like a TikTok flat-Earther
i know the truth:
they’re really for labeling hipster goofs.
you know the ones i’m saying to you.
i’ve managed to dodge a pair
ruining our shoe rack like onion
to any other food,

but you were all wearing them as early as ’92:
you could be Meg Tilly or Sara Flynn;
you could be Little Orphan Shelley
(or Shell-Dogg, as she’s known on the Strip) –
this isn’t news.
so from one man to you,

please stop wearing those goddamned shoes.
or boots, whatever.
i hate them

and i want to stop avoiding
Granville Island.

//wd 8.9.2026

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