I won’t go to see a movie because there’s a good-looking woman broadcasted as being in it, but I know who I personally find sexy and who I don’t, and when I do – especially in a big-budget Hollywood production like Hobbs & Shaw – it is validation for a machine that is already operating at full velocity to tell me, THERE IS SOMEONE HOT IN THIS MOVIE. NIICE. And I smack myself on the hand any time it happens (mentally) but this is a primal nature and nothing to do with this or that about sexual and/or gender rights and equality. I’ll mention it if the machine worked on me, because – subconsciously or not – I’m sure it makes me enjoy the movie more. If I don’t mention it, it’s not because the actress isn’t good looking in her own right. But I will ALWAYS strive to mention their acting quality. Because that’s really what they’re getting paid for. Isn’t it?
But let’s leave the mysteries of the Silver Screen behind for a minute and concentrate on what’s real. I had a HUGE crush on Anne Hathaway around the time Brokeback Mountain came out. And NOT because she had her tiddies out in that movie (she already did that). She has a Barbie figure and a very expressive face that lends pathos and exuberance in equal measure, but I don’t particularly like her acting. Especially not since Brokeback. She’s gone from Disney alum to disgraced real estate heiress to Oscar hostess to Oscar winner and the whole time she has always come across as a professional more concerned in giving her audience what they expect, instead of building her craft. She has coasted at this average level of enthusiasm for a while now (Les Mis; Dark Knight Rises; The Intern) instead of making any dramatic changes to her bubbly, wide-eyed formula. I believe the polite terminology for that is character acting. Anne Hathaway is a consummate character actor, giving the ladies that come to see her rom-coms EXACTLY what they want to see from her and guys like me who go to see movies that she happens to be in exactly what they expect. A little Princess Diaries mixed with some sass and you have the Hathaway Formula. And she digs in to her bag of tricks for another go of it in The Hustle, an underwhelming; unfunny “chick” comedy co-starring Rebel Wilson doing her Rebel Wilson thing, too. In this case, however, that is a good thing, and presents an interesting duality.
Truly, as bad as The Hustle gets (and Hathaway feeding Wilson a french fry from the toilet is pretty bad), it is Wilson’s show the whole way. Hathaway shows up and looks cute, but Wilson has always looked like she has a good time on-set and that sense of not-giving-a-fuck transfers back to the audience. This makes her a likable, sympathetic lead even when the material just wants her to do her Rebel Wilson thing. And oh boy, she does her thing too, and while not as grating as Ryan Reynolds it’s still pretty obnoxious. I’m all but done with this bullshit improv-style comedy that seems to dissimilate every movie it touches, but Wilson hasn’t worn out her welcome for me yet. So here is one with two actresses – one who coasts on looks and one who coasts on personality – playing rival hustlers running a con on Alex Sharpe’s seemingly poor app creator Thomas. That he ends up conning both women in the end will surprise no one (and lacks the poignancy of the same twist used in a movie like Matchstick Men). What was surprising was how much I was willing to forgive as a self-aware viewer anytime Wilson did her “silly girl” schtick, and how much more beguiling she is for these qualities over her co-star.
Sorry Anne. You will always remain my desktop background from 2005, but I’ve grown up. As for the movie itself, I’ll forget about it tomorrow. But IF you like these ladies (and whether you are a lady yourself SHOULD NOT play in to your decision), you may get more out of it then I did.
//jf 8.15.19
theory of a daskeman 