“Two people confront one-another about their feelings, at the wrong place, at the wrong time, in the wrong way – and possibly, to the wrong person.”

---

THE SCENE
A party in a suburban home. Nighttime.

THE CAST
Kristan, she/her, 30s, standoffish, with coloured hair.
Kevin, he/him, 30s, brazen.

Graeme, 30s, a smoking guest.
Tommy, 30s, his friend.
A Man in a Suit, 30s, a silent weirdo.

Karl, a drunk partygoer, adult-aged.
Holly, a curious partygoer, adult-aged.
A Goof, 30s, an idiot.

*

As the audience enters the theatre, the CURTAIN is CLOSED and the HOUSE LIGHTS are ON. In front of the curtain at STAGE-LEFT, under a spotlight, is a patio chair and an outdoor table with an ashtray on it. On STAGE-RIGHT, on a bench, sits A MAN IN A SUIT – looking forlorn, “smoking” a cigarette, ashing on the ground. Behind the curtain, you can hear bass-heavy background music, played at a minimal volume.

Five-minutes before the start of show, GRAEME enters STAGE-LEFT. He “lights” a cigarette and stares out into the crowd like he’s looking-out from a porch. Occasionally, GRAEME will look at the MAN IN A SUIT, but the MAN IN A SUIT does not look back, nor do they share any pleasantries.

HOUSE LIGHTS FADE. TOMMY enters STAGE-LEFT, also “lighting” a cigarette.

TOMMY
Hey Graeme!

GRAEME
Tommy! What’s shaking?

TOMMY & GRAEME “pound” fists.

TOMMY
Not a whole Hell of a lot. I thought I’d never run into someone I know here.

GRAEME
Yeah, me neither. The wife dragged me. But it’s nice to see you!

TOMMY
You too! Are you coming with us next weekend?

GRAEME
To do what?

TOMMY
The guys didn’t tell you?

GRAEME
No…

TOMMY
Oh. Well we’re all going hunting.

GRAEME
(apprehensive) Hunting, huh?

TOMMY
Yeah. Don’t take it too personal. If anyone asks just say I invited you.

GRAEME
No, it’s not that. I’m just not sure how comfortable I’d be with going hunting.

TOMMY
If you’re sad for the deer, it’s an annual cull.

GRAEME
Yeah, there’s that. But it’s mostly just all the random shootings going on everywhere. I don’t know how cool I am going shooting for fun when kids are getting killed for no reason.

TOMMY
Okay yeah I understand that.

GRAEME
I mean, it’s scary right?

TOMMY
Yeah, but you can’t live your life in fear.

GRAEME
You’re right.

TOMMY
Of course I am. Plus most of the losers responsible for those killings are loners with undiagnosed mental health issues.

GRAEME
Well not all of them.

TOMMY
(facetiously) Oh okay, and the ones that go after a particular group.

GRAEME
“Hate-motivated”, right.

TOMMY
But even those people have problems with social acclimatization. They just want everything to be one way, their way, and that’s it. I’d say that’s a form of mental illness.

GRAEME
True.

TOMMY
Point is, if you think your life is so unbearable that you have to go out and shoot somebody to feel better, you should talk to someone. Before you get to the point that you start shooting people.

GRAEME
Yes.

TOMMY
Hah-hah so on that note, did you want to think about that trip a bit?

GRAEME
I’d have to run it by the wife.

TOMMY
Yeah, do that! Don’t even mention the hunting if you don’t want to. You could just come and hang with all us idiots at the cabin.

There is a pause. TOMMY looks over at the MAN IN A SUIT.

TOMMY
(cont’d, to MAN) Hey man! Cool party, huh?

MAN does not respond.

GRAEME
(to TOMMY) Do you know that guy?

TOMMY
(to GRAEME) No, but he’s been sitting there at least an hour.

GRAEME
Oh?

TOMMY
Yeah, he was there the last time I came out.

GRAEME
You know, I just watched that “Zodiac” movie, with what’s-his-face, dude who played Iron Man?

TOMMY
Oh yeah, that’s the one about the serial killer?

GRAEME
Yeah.

TOMMY
That one’s old now, isn’t it?

GRAEME
It isn’t that old. Anyway, the person that the movie suggests is the killer was known to go to parties in a suit and sit by himself and not talk to anyone.

TOMMY
Oh?

GRAME
Yeah. That part always stuck out to me.

TOMMY
Why even go to a party if you aren’t going to mingle? And then stay, for that matter.

GRAEME
In the movie, it was because he was creeping on a chick.

TOMMY
Oh?

GRAEME
Yeah. Like he was waiting for her to come to him.

TOMMY
That’s fucking creepy! (pause) So, you’re saying this could be our guy?

GRAEME
(whispering) Shh! Asshole, don’t say that!

TOMMY
He’s strapped under that jacket and he’s ready to go ballistic at any minute! Run!

GRAEME
Shit, we’d better get inside.

TOMMY
That’s good advice, my friend. Let’s go see what our girls are up to. Was that a good movie?

GRAEME
What, Zodiac? I thought so.

TOMMY
Cool. I’ll have to see if it’s on Netflix.

GRAEME
It probably isn’t: they never have anything good on there….

They “butt-out” their cigarettes and exit STAGE-LEFT. The lights in front of the curtain fade (depending on sight-lines & lighting, MAN IN A SUIT could stay seated on the bench for the remainder of the performance). The CURTAIN OPENS. The background music continues, slightly louder.

In the rear of STAGE-LEFT is a dimmed spotlight with coloured texture from a strobe machine. Under these, a small, shadowed group of unnamed individuals are seen milling; some dancing. KEVIN, KARL, HOLLY, and THE IDIOT are part of this group.

At the front of STAGE-RIGHT is a recliner, in which sits KRISTAN: removed, bored, and hunched forward over her phone. KEVIN crosses by her. He is carrying a can of beer.

KEVIN
(loud & boisterous) Hey Hey! What’s up, lady?

KRISTAN does not respond.

KEVIN
(cont’d, louder) Hey!

KRISTAN
Hello. (barely looks at KEVIN)

KEVIN
What’s up?

KRISTAN
…Hm?

KEVIN
What’s going on? I haven’t seen you all night!

KRISTAN
Mm. (continues staring at her phone)

KEVIN
(jokey) Well that’s a lie, I DID see you, but you just looked like you were having SO much fun over here that I had to seize the moment, right?

KRISTAN continues to shut him out.

KEVIN
(cont’d) Did you want to go out for a smoke? Maybe share one of those nice American cigarettes I saw you having?

KRISTAN
No I don’t want to right now.

KEVIN
…Okay.

KRISTAN
But if you want one you can ask me and I’ll give it to you. (she smiles at KEVIN, and goes back to her phone)

KEVIN
Okay… (pause) Those ARE pretty cool though, the smokes you bought. The guys at work? They always import the flavour pack ones, so I’ve had grape flavour, rum… Can you believe it? Rum-flavoured cigarettes? What YEAR is it?

KRISTAN
…Oh?

KEVIN
Yeah, I used to smoke those rum-flavoured cigarillos all the time when I was still in college. But I don’t think they sell them anymore. They CAN’T sell them anymore. But what kid would want “rum” when they can have, fucking, peanut butter & jelly-flavoured vape?

KRISTAN
Mm.

KEVIN
Yeah, I like those ones you brought though: I haven’t had menthol in a while. In fact, I don’t think I’ve bought a whole pack since I was in the States last…

KRISTAN
Are you going somewhere with all this?

KEVIN
Hm?

KRISTAN
I TOLD you I’d give you a smoke if you wanted one.

KEVIN
No, I mean, it just makes me all like, “Hey, thanks for getting me back into smoking!”

KRISTAN
(irritated) Well don’t blame ME for that…

KEVIN
…I didn’t mean “you”. I meant Camel. The company. “Thanks, Camel!”

KRISTAN
Oh. (goes back to her phone)

KEVIN
Should I go away?

KRISTAN
…You COULD.

KEVIN
Just, you’re being unusually hostile tonight.

KRISTAN
Well you’re the one saying stupid shit.

KEVIN
I’m not trying to be stupid. I’m trying to talk to a friend.

KRISTAN
(still on her phone) I’ve been here ALL night. YOU didn’t talk to me either.

KEVIN
I TOLD you I SAW you. I know.

KRISTAN
Okay, so…

KEVIN
You make the point of walking around the room in front of me saying “hello” to everyone else but you won’t talk to me or even LOOK at me.

KRISTAN
YOU DIDN’T TALK TO ME EITHER!

KEVIN
No, I didn’t. You’re right.

KRISTAN
(puts her phone away) …So?

KEVIN
So.

KRISTAN
I’m talking to you NOW, aren’t I?

KEVIN
Yes, you are.

KRISTAN
So what’s the problem?

KEVIN
…You’re such a fucking brat.

KRISTAN
Excuse me?

KEVIN
You’re a brat!

KRISTAN
That’s nice. That’s REAL nice, coming from you.

KEVIN
I’m not the one who’s being fake.

KRISTAN
(stands up) Fake? ME? YOU’RE calling ME fake?

KARL – glass in-hand – exits the cluster of people on STAGE-LEFT and proceeds to STAGE-RIGHT, crossing in front of the recliner. He is oblivious to the tension between KEVIN & KRISTAN.

KEVIN
(to KRISTAN) You’re the fakest person here…

KARL
(drunk, throwing his arms over KRISTAN & KEVIN) Hey!

KEVIN
(to KARL) Hey.

KRISTAN
(to KARL) Hey Karl!

KARL
(burping) What’s going on, kids?

KEVIN
Nothing.

KARL
That’s good, that’s good. Hey, you guys wanna know something?

KRISTAN
What?

KARL
(to KRISTAN) You’re Kristan.

KRISTAN
Yep.

KARL
(to KEVIN) And you’re Kevin.

KEVIN
Mm-hmm.

KARL
And I’m Karl. So that makes us the “KKK”!

KEVIN
Are you feeling OK, buddy? Need to go lie down?

KARL
(to KEVIN) Oh, I’m going to sit on the throne, is the plan. Are you guys lined up or what?

KEVIN
No, by all means.

KARL
Yeah! All right! Hey, was that either of you guys with the menthol smokes?

KRISTAN
(to KARL) Yeah, I’ve got some.

KARL
(to KRISTAN) Woot-woot! I could smell them. You can’t get those ANYWHERE anymore! Can I have one?

KRISTAN
(to KARL) I’ll come find you after you take a shit, how’s that?

KARL
This night just keeps getting better and better! (he squeezes past & exits STAGE-RIGHT)

KEVIN
(back to KRISTAN) I’m going back to the party.

KRISTAN
(to KEVIN) Fuck you! I’m not just going to let you leave it like this! WHAT were you SAYING about me being FAKE?

KEVIN
…You’re walking around me trying to remind me of something that even YOU don’t want to admit happened. How do you want me to act, huh?

KRISTAN
I don’t know what…

KEVIN
…what I’m talking about, I know. You don’t know anything. You wanna know something “real”? You’re the worst kind of brat. Not the kind I want to bend over my knee, but the kind I want to smack in the mouth.

KRISTAN
Okay, I’m tapping out. Excuse me. (tries to walk away)

KEVIN
Oh, so YOU want to leave now?

KRISTAN
“I” have to go to the bathroom. I’ll just use the one upstairs.

KEVIN
But we were finishing our conversation. (he stands in front of KRISTAN, blocking her from exiting STAGE-LEFT)

KRISTAN
(mousey) …What are you doing?

HOLLY separates from the cluster and drifts to STAGE-RIGHT, breaking up KEVIN & KRISTAN.

HOLLY
Oh! Hey guys! Sorry, didn’t want to “interrupt”! Just using the bathroom…

KRISTAN
(to HOLLY) Someone’s in there right now, Holly.

HOLLY
Oh, I’ll just wait then…

KEVIN
The one upstairs is free.

HOLLY
(to KEVIN & KRISTAN) …Is everything okay?

KEVIN
(to HOLLY) Everything’s fine. Just use the other bathroom right now, okay? We’re trying to talk.

HOLLY
(to KRISTAN) Is that right, Kristan? Is everything okay?

KEVIN
What are you asking HER for? I told you she was fine!

KRISTAN
(to HOLLY) I am, really. We’re just talking about my dad, is all.

HOLLY
…Alright… (she exits STAGE-LEFT)

KEVIN
(almost at a whisper, still close to KRISTAN) Are you REALLY going to make me do this?

KRISTAN
Do what?

KEVIN
Say IT. (pause) Do you REALLY not know what’s going on “here”? Has EVERYTHING I’ve done fallen on deaf ears? (pause) I LOVE you. (pause) I love you. Not a platonic love like good friends, or like siblings, but a romantic love. The kind of love where I would die for you. I would DIE for you, Kristan. Has anyone ever told you that before? I’d take a fucking BULLET for you.

KEVIN approaches KRISTAN, forcing her backward, until she is fully against the closest flat wall to STAGE-RIGHT.

KRISTAN
But you don’t even KNOW me.

KEVIN
I think I know you better than you know yourself. Because I see EVERYTHING. Why do you think I’m always staring at you? Because I’ve mentioned your hair a couple of times?

KRISTAN
…I don’t know.

KEVIN
“You don’t know”. Why else would I be staring at you all the time? It isn’t because of your fucking hair. It’s because I can’t keep my eyes off you. I. Fucking. LOVE you.

KRISTAN
Let me go, please…

A toilet flushes.

KEVIN
(gets closer, but doesn’t touch KRISTAN) I don’t want to now.

KRISTAN
Please…

KEVIN
If I let you go now then I’ll never be here for you again. I’m not playing these games anymore…

KARL re-enters STAGE-RIGHT.

KRISTAN
(after a split-second pause, she pushes KEVIN off) Get OFF of me!

KEVIN
(to KRISTAN) What are you getting so defensive about?

KRISTAN
You’re TOO CLOSE! It’s WIERD!

KEVIN
I’m not doing ANYTHING! We’re just TALKING!

KARL
(to KRISTAN) Sorry. You just come find me later for that smoke, kay?

KARL rejoins the cluster at STAGE-LEFT, while looking over his shoulder back at KEVIN & KRISTAN. KEVIN & KRISTAN relax their stances and regain some distance.

KEVIN
(cont’d, to KRISTAN) Good going, Little Miss Drama-Queen – are you happy now?

KRISTAN
Happy that I stopped you from trying to RAPE me? I am, actually!

KEVIN
You’re SERIOUSLY using the “R” word with me right now? I would have NEVER thought you’d stoop to that level – I didn’t even TOUCH you.

KRISTAN
(whispering) Your fucking partner is here. Show THEM a little respect.

KEVIN
Can I not be in love with more than one person? Can someone not live with somebody for a decade and love them for who they are, but love someone else for what they think COULD be? I know I’m fucking taken! I’m not delusional! But I’m DONE with holding all “this” inside me all the time for someone who doesn’t appreciate it.

KRISTAN
I DO appreciate you.

KEVIN
Sure doesn’t feel like it.

HOLLY re-enters STAGE-LEFT and rejoins the cluster.

KRISTAN
What do you want me to do, hm? What do you think I’m depriving you of? I’ve bought you presents for Christmas before, and paid for shit, and thought about you when I’m planning stuff – what more do you want? (whispering) Do I have to suck your dick? Is THAT what you’re holding out for? Probably. Fucking typical male asshole.

KEVIN
Is that all you think I want from you, is sex?

KRISTAN
That’s all any guy has EVER wanted from me. Doesn’t matter what they’ve said or done: it’s all to get me into bed. I don’t believe what ANY of you fuckers tell me anymore.

KEVIN
…So if I told you that you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, you wouldn’t believe me?

KRISTAN
Hell no!

KEVIN
What if I said that every girl I’ve ever been with, or ever even been fucking infatuated with, has led me to you? That you have every feature that I’ve ever dreamed about looking at every morning?

KRISTAN
…I would say that sounds like fiction.

KEVIN
It is most CERTAINLY non-fiction.

KRISTAN
Stop that…

KEVIN
…You don’t believe me? Not even when I’m looking you in the eyes? (pause)

KRISTAN
(looking back at KEVIN) …I don’t know.

KEVIN
What don’t you know?

KRISTAN
…I don’t know if I can trust myself.

KEVIN
Trust yourself to do what? Be beautiful? (he puts his hand up to her face, and manages to touch her cheek for a minute, before she moves away)

KRISTAN
I told you not to touch me.

KEVIN
Have you ever even been touched before?

KRISTAN
No. Because you’re not my girlfriend, and you aren’t my dad.

KEVIN
If you think I’m putting my hand on your face out of some parental longing and not because I want to, then I’ve been fucking ignorant this whole time.

KRISTAN
You ARE ignorant. And you’re a creep. You’re a fucking creep who’s dating my Dad but wants to fuck his daughter instead.

KEVIN
You haven’t heard a single fucking thing I’ve said, have you?

KRISTAN
I have. I heard that you’re some fucking psychotic bi-sexual stalker! I heard that you think you’re fucking entitled to something, which you AREN’T! It’s not even that you’re entitled to some THING – it’s me! ME! Do you think you OWN me or something? Like the whole universe revolves around you and YOUR desires?

KEVIN
No, actually, I DON’T. But I’m FINISHED with every waking minute thinking about you, and what it would be like to be with you, or… whether you’re doing OK, or whether you aren’t answering my texts because something’s wrong, or… when you’re acting like a fucking brat any time I try to have a conversation with you… It can’t be one way or the other for me anymore. Okay?

KRISTAN
So what are you saying to me, then?

HOLLY separates from the cluster and slowly re-approaches the recliner, eavesdropping while staying just out of the spotlight.

KEVIN
What I’m SAYING to you, is that if you tell me right now that you don’t feel the same way and you want me to stop, I will. But that’s it, then. Because if you love me too, then everything I feel right now, I will bury it down deep and hide it, and I won’t ever be wishy-washy with you or take what you do for me for granted again. But if you tell me you DON’T feel the same and you want me to stop, then there’s no turning back. I will fucking PURGE you from my life. I will go with your father to things and, if I see you I’ll smile and be polite but I won’t leave anything for you to misinterpret again. Because I can’t forgive you for making me this way unless I know you’re ACTUALLY doing your best to make an effort to reciprocate, and I won’t give a shit about you making any effort if you don’t give a shit about me, either. (long pause) So? What’s it going to be?

HOLLY
(stepping into the spotlight) Hey guys.

KRISTAN
(to HOLLY) …Hi!

KEVIN
(to HOLLY) Hello again.

HOLLY
Listen, you guys have been over here a while now… maybe you want to take a break?

KRISTAN
(to HOLLY) Were we being too loud?

HOLLY
(to KRISTAN) Not at all! No one can hear what you’re saying. We’re just, kind of all wondering where you both went.

KEVIN
(to HOLLY) It’s okay. We’re almost done.

HOLLY
Okay, I’ll take your word for it. Jordon was going to play with the Google thing in a bit, apparently it’s pretty funny – you can get it to say swears and shit.

KRISTAN
We’re coming. Promise!

HOLLY wanders away.

KRISTAN
(to KEVIN) …You aren’t being fair.

KEVIN
LIFE isn’t fair.

KRISTAN
No. You can’t make me choose.

KEVIN
It’s been ten fucking years. I’m not wasting any more time.

KRISTAN
…And you don’t care what Dad thinks?

KEVIN
I’m NOT, WASTING, any more time.

KRISTAN
…Well I can’t give you an answer right now.

KEVIN
Is that because “she’s” here?

KRISTAN
No, this has nothing to do with my girlfriend.

KEVIN
I think it does.

KRISTAN
Well it DOESN’T. She’s here because she’s MY girlfriend.

KEVIN
Do you love her?

KRISTAN
…What?

KEVIN
Don’t act like you didn’t hear me. Do you love your girlfriend?

KRISTAN
Yes…

KEVIN
…But?

KRISTAN
Well, nothing’s perfect, right?

KEVIN
I don’t think you DO love her.

KRISTAN
Oh really?

KEVIN
Nope. I think you’re envious.

KRISTAN
OH?

KEVIN
Yeah, I do.

KRISTAN
And in your PROFESSIONAL OPINION, what do you think I’m envious over?

KEVIN
Me.

KRISTAN
(sarcastic) Oh, didn’t see THAT one coming!

KEVIN
Not just me. Me & your dad together. That we’re happy. That I’m a serious, introverted guy, whose grown into a stronger man than he was before because I had a supportive partner. I think you wanted your own wounded bird to fix.

KRISTAN
Shut the fuck up! You’re a LOSER, you duplicitous asshole! You’re looking at me and “how beautiful” I am and you’re thinking that maybe, if you aren’t getting any sex from my 55-year-old father, then maybe you could get some from me?

KEVIN
Have I even ONCE mentioned sex to you this whole conversation?

KRISTAN
You don’t have to. I KNOW it’s all you’re REALLY thinking about. Do you remember that night we hung out at the arcade when you picked me up after work? I’m sure you do. That’s probably what you’re resting this entire delusion of your’s onto. Do you remember what you said?

KEVIN
…I remember EXACTLY what I said.

KRISTAN
What was it, then?

KEVIN
…That I was only acting weird around you because your heart reminded me of your dad’s.

KRISTAN
That’s RIGHT. And now you’re telling me that’s changed, huh? That your cup is just OVERFLOWING with love for him, for me, who else? Huh? Don’t think that my girlfriend doesn’t tell me when you’ve told her your “fantasies”! Just about ANY girl who walks by who isn’t on the clock you’re saying out-loud how hot she is! In front of me, my dad, my girlfriend… So what is it then, huh? If we were together, and it was ten years from now, what would you be doing THEN, huh? Would you be thinking about other girls then, too? Hm? While you were out looking for other guys to fuck? Maybe, would you have even found someone else already? Someone like me, who you’ve apparently been keeping all these “bottled-up feelings” for? And THEN what? You’re going to “lay it all out for them” at someone else’s house during a party, while I’m in the other room wondering where you are? Cause you KNOW my dad’s in there right now wondering what’s taking us so long. So maybe if you thought more about HIM instead of YOURSELF or how OTHERS see you, you’d be happier and more confident, instead of thinking that fucking a member of your new family is going to solve all your problems.

KEVIN
…So if I told you that I only talk about other women because I’m trying to avoid talking about you, does that change anything?

KRISTAN
No. So what, do you want to run through your list of excuses now? Should I sit down again?

KEVIN
Excuses for what, having a problem with intimacy? For getting older? For being with a man who falls less-and-less in-love with me every time I bring up the fact we aren’t having enough sex?

KRISTAN
See? It IS all about sex! I fucking KNEW it!

KEVIN
It isn’t! God-dammit, it isn’t! If you and I never had sex, would that stop me from wanting to be close to you? No! Would it stop me from wanting to know what kissing you on the mouth tastes like? What you’re like first thing when you’re ACTUALLY rested? Or how a hug from you actually FEELS when you mean it? Sex doesn’t change any of that, and NONE of that has to do with sex. It has to do with being close to someone you feel a connection with. It’s about talking to you calmly and having you respond in-kind. It’s about my smiling at you and you smiling back because you know I’m not doing it because of an assumption! God-dammit, you drive me fucking NUTS! It’s like, you have this preconceived notion of what you think a relationship IS, and what you think is normal, and I don’t know if that’s some kind of trauma, or you’re still butt-hurt about something one of your exes did…

KRISTAN
Wow, you know what? Now I’m done.

KEVIN
(sarcastically) Are you sure this time?

KRISTAN
I am. I’m really done now, with this conversation. I’m done. I don’t want to have it anymore.

KEVIN
Well, we’re still having it! May as well FINISH it!

KRISTAN
No. This night wasn’t supposed to be about you, or me. It was supposed to be about ALL of us, hanging out TOGETHER, having a good time TOGETHER, and now I realize that there’s all these hidden EXPECTATIONS that you’ve placed on me, on everyone else, on the whole fucking party! Okay!

KEVIN
How can I NOT have expectations after everything we’ve been through together?

KRISTAN
Like WHAT?

KEVIN
Like…

KRISTAN
Don’t fucking say the “arcade” again.

KEVIN
Well what about the mix CD?

KRISTAN
What CD?

KEVIN
The CD I burnt you in March, that you were all excited for?

KRISTAN
Oh, THAT? Yeah, I was EXCITED to hear what new stuff you were listening to, cause, believe it or not, I actually LIKE your taste in music. I wasn’t expecting seven out of the fifteen songs to have “love” in the title!

KEVIN
So you didn’t like it?

KRISTAN
I fucking skipped over half of it then threw it out!

KEVIN
Wow.

KRISTAN
Yeah! So what else you got, fucker?

Suddenly, in the crowd of shadows at the back, A GOOF lifts up his arm, and in his hands is a gun.

GOOF
Hey everyone! Look what I found in the office!

HOLLY
(to GOOF) Hey, put that down!

The GOOF now has the undivided attention of everyone in the room.

KRISTAN
That fucking idiot.

KEVIN
Not as big of an idiot as me.

KRISTAN
Apparently. (pause) I still love you, though.

The GOOF dances to the beat of the music with his gun hand still in the air, while everyone else look on and begin backing away slowly.

KEVIN
Don’t say that, Kristan.

KRISTAN
But I do. I’ll always love you, Kevin. But I love you because you make my father happy. And when he’s happy, I’m happy. Sure I wish I had a supportive partner like you, but I’m sure not envious about opening myself up to a cheater.

THE GUN GOES OFF. There is a shot into the air, not at anything in particular. The GOOF is tackled-down by TOMMY.

KRISTAN is hit by the stray bullet. She collapses. KEVIN watches her drop without reacting. The music stops.

All excess party-goers – not including the GOOF or TOMMY – conglomerate around KRISTAN at the front of the stage, while KEVIN begins backing up slowly, until he too stands under the shadowed spotlight at the back of the stage with TOMMY & the GOOF, shocked & helpless.

The CURTAIN closes. We find ourselves back on the patio, where the MAN IN A SUIT is still sitting on the bench. He is no longer smoking, and he has been weeping. The gunshot has woken him from his stoicism, but he still remains conflicted as to what is going on; what to do – whether he should leave or stay; and whether, even, he should stop crying. Police sirens are heard approaching, and the MAN remains seated.

SMASH-FADE LIGHTS TO BLACK. HOUSE LIGHTS UP.

//wd 7.13.2023

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Photos in order: Isabella Mendes; cottonbro on Pexels.com.