“Two former Film School classmates – one successful, one a dropout – confront their presumed demons during a lunch reunion.”

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THE SCENE
The street-side patio of a trendy restaurant, sometime in early-Summer. Present Day.

THE CAST
Dave, mid-to-late-30s, registered with the Film Union and good-to-go.
Ben, mid-to-late-30s, an unregistered freelancer.
A waiter, 18-20, just trying to do their job.
A proper man, 60s, who “should know what he’s talking about”.
His wife, 60s, who “should know her place better”.

*

LIGHTS UP. DAVE is waiting at a small, round table with three chairs. He’s dressed business-casual, playing with his phone. There are busy sounds around him: traffic; pedestrians – the city.

DAVE
Where the fuck is he…

A WAITER enters stage-left and approaches him.

WAITER
Have you had a chance to look at our menu yet, Sir?

DAVE
(callously)
That’s what I’m doing right now.

WAITER
Anything peak your interest?

DAVE
I don’t know, I’m not even at the appetizers yet! I’m still flipping through your sixteen-thousand pages of drinks!

WAITER
I’m sorry, Sir.

DAVE
Stupid question!

WAITER
We are well known for our selection of beer and spirits, Sir. If you’ll permit me, I could recommend something…

DAVE
No. Just go away until my guest arrives.

The waiter exits the same way he came in. From stage-right, in bursts BEN, dressed aloha-shirt casual. Dave is happy to see him, and they embrace platonically. Ben is despondent: hunched over, with closed-off body language.

DAVE
(cont’d) Wow! There’s the Big Guy!

BEN
Hi Dave. Sorry I’m late.

DAVE
It’s fine, man! It’s totally fine! Wow, you look great. Sit down!

They do.

DAVE
(cont’d) Wow.

BEN
I know.

DAVE
I don’t even have words, I mean, it’s been so long.

BEN
I know it has. I’m sorry.

DAVE
Why do you keep apologizing? It’s really great to see you.

BEN
Thanks, man.

DAVE
No problem! How are you? What’s new?

BEN
What’s new? Heh-heh, now it’s my turn to say “wow”.

DAVE
Yeah, that was a dumb question. I mean, when was the last time? I don’t even remember…

BEN
The graduation party.

DAVE
…Are you sure?

BEN
Pretty sure.

DAVE
…Oh yeah! That’s right! Wow.

BEN
Wow, yeah.

DAVE
Long time.

BEN
Long time.

DAVE
You know, if we keep going on like this back-and-forth, then we’ll never get anywhere.

BEN
Yeah.

DAVE
But it’s good to see you! It really is.

BEN
Thanks, Dave. It’s good to see you, too.

DAVE
Yeah.

BEN
So, you look good.

DAVE
You know, I feel good. Work is good. And if work is good, then life is good. I’m making regular money, and I’m really happy.

BEN
What are you doing again? I’m sorry, I forgot.

DAVE
I’m an Assistant Locations Manager at Horizons Pictures.

BEN
Ooo-ooo! Good for you.

DAVE
Thanks, man! It took a good long while of grinding away. And I gotta tell you, I’m a little jealous when you left us cause, if I had the choice to do it again? I’d dump it too! They still had me sitting in my car in a parking lot for fifteen-hours-a-day! “Bachelor of Fine Arts”? More like “Bachelor of Fine Farts”! But the Head of Locations on the first show took a liking to me, and I’ve been following him around on-and-off now for at least five years? You know, learning the trade. He’s actually telling me that I could take over for him when he takes his sabbatical this summer!

BEN
Wow!

DAVE
Yeah, so that’s really exciting…

The waiter re-enters.

WAITER
Gentlemen, hello. Can I interest you both in some drinks to start?

DAVE
It’s about time!

WAITER
…Excuse me?

DAVE
I’ll have a cappuccino. That’s it.

WAITER
(to BEN)
And you, Sir?

BEN
Gosh, I don’t know. I haven’t even looked at the menu yet…

WAITER
(to BEN)
Oh! I’m so sorry – will you be looking at the menu on your phone like your friend, or do you need a paper copy?

DAVE
(to WAITER)
Why don’t you suggest something for him.

BEN
(to DAVE)
Really?

DAVE
(to BEN)
Really. Whatever you want. It’s on me.

WAITER
(to BEN)
Well in that case, Sir, the Wagyu steak is very good…

BEN
Wagyu… what’s that?

DAVE
(to WAITER)
I think you meant to say “triple-A”, there, buddy.
(to BEN)
Are you sure you want a steak? That might be a little heavy for 11:30 in the morning.

BEN
(perking up)
No, a steak is great! I haven’t had one in a while! Thanks, Dave!

DAVE
(sarcastically)
Do you want a drink, too?

BEN
(to WAITER)
What do you have for Light beer?

WAITER
(to BEN)
I’m sure we have something, Sir.

The waiter starts to leave…

DAVE
(to WAITER)
Hey! Triple-A, OK? Don’t think I’m not paying attention!

WAITER
Yes, Sir.

…and finally does.

BEN
(to DAVE)
What’s Wagyu? Sounds fancy!

DAVE
(to BEN)
Oh, just some hoity-toity extra-fat this-or-that. You’ll like the triple-A just the same.

BEN
Are you not having anything?

DAVE
No, I only have a bit of time here before I have to go. My office is actually just down the block from here. But, I’m thinking now that maybe we should have gone for a burger somewhere instead.

BEN
It’s great! I don’t get out much, so anything is great. But this is really great.

DAVE
Well, I appreciate that. But what’s going on with you? Seriously, what have you been up to?

BEN
Really, not much.

DAVE
How’s Karen? Is that her name?

BEN
Yes it was.

DAVE
Unfortunate name.

BEN
It is. Was.

DAVE
She’s not dead, is she?

BEN
No, she’s not dead. We broke up after the party.

DAVE
This was the same girl you had the pregnancy scare with?

BEN
Indeed.

DAVE
Wow. Okay so, we all saw you at the graduation party, but you must have left early because no one knew where you had gone to.

BEN
I was there.

DAVE
…Oh?

BEN
Yeah, I was there all-night. I didn’t leave until midnight.

DAVE
Oh. Well, from what I recall, we all thought you had left and that was the last any of us heard from you. So you went through a bad break-up, was that it?

BEN
It wasn’t horrible. She still paid half for our last month’s rent, so it wasn’t, you know, “all of a sudden”.

DAVE
Gotcha.

BEN
But it wasn’t just the break-up. I wasn’t getting along with anyone at the College. It was too elitist.

DAVE
Elitist? We weren’t elitists.

BEN
Not everyone. Not you. But the teachers, some of the other students, made it feel very “cliquey”. The best thing for me was to move on.

DAVE
And then you actually moved.

BEN
Yep. Back home with my Dad.

DAVE
Nice! Nothing wrong with helping-out family.

The waiter comes back with Dave’s cappuccino and Ben’s Light beer.

DAVE
(cont’d, to WAITER) Is this going to come with any condiments, or do you expect me to shit dark diarrhea for a week?

WAITER
(to DAVE)
Just cream and sugar for you then, Sir?

DAVE
Yes! Let’s go!
(clapping his hands)
Chop-chop! It’s getting cold!

The waiter leaves.

DAVE
(cont’d) Anyway, you’re obviously out of hiding now, since we connected online.

BEN
I guess you could say that, yeah.

DAVE
But you did say in the messages that you might have something coming up for yourself soon?

BEN
Yeah, there is. Not like that’s the reason I came.

DAVE
No, no, not at all. I didn’t think that for a second.

BEN
Okay. Good.

DAVE
I’m not sure how much you remember but I know for myself I’ve moved on from a lot of what’s happened in my past. To be honest with you, I remember being disappointed in school too, that I was never picked to direct any of the student shorts. That was always something I wanted to do, and it hurt me when the faculty never approved any of my projects. I didn’t feel acknowledged – always working on other peoples’ short films and never my own. But you surprised me with your ideas & your ability to do stuff by yourself so, if there’s anything I can do to help you get back in the game, then Ben, I’m happy to help.

The waiter returns with a small plate of coffee condiments.

DAVE
(cont’d, to WAITER) Just so you know, this all will reflect in your tip.

He stands there, waiting for further instruction…

DAVE
(cont’d, to WAITER) You may go!

…and he does.

DAVE
(cont’d, to BEN) Anyway, what is this big thing you haven’t told me yet? Quick, before we get interrupted again!

BEN
Well, uh, I’ve been advertising myself on the “buy & sell” for some time now… just for whatever might come up, you know, odd jobs, this-or-that…

DAVE
If you want to get in quick and easy. I can hook you up with P.A. work no problem.

BEN
No, I don’t really want that….

DAVE
Are you sure? Cause that’s something I can do for you, one-hundred-percent. I can text someone right now and be like, “Hey, give my buddy some hours” and they will abide. Like that movie.

BEN
No. Truthfully, it isn’t convenient, what with looking after my Dad and all.

DAVE
What’s wrong with your Dad?

BEN
No, no, no, he’s not ill or anything – he’s just getting older and needs the help is all. P.A. work is too unscheduled for me to be there for him as much as he needs it.

DAVE
Nobody’s getting any younger.

BEN
Tell me about it.

DAVE
Well, if you want free advice? Advertising yourself on the “buy & sell” is asking for trouble in this industry. You could end up in someone’s bedroom working a sticky iPhone camera filming poop porn.

BEN
That doesn’t happen…

DAVE
No?
(pauses for effect)
Kidding! I’m kidding. But seriously, you need to be careful.

BEN
I know. Anyway, I was contacted by a guy who wants professional help filming a promo video.

DAVE
See! What did I tell you?

BEN
No, it’s not like that! It’s legit!

DAVE
What’s it a promo for?

BEN
A 24-hour fitness center? And he wants a 30-second and a 15-second spot.

DAVE
A fitness center, huh? Sounds like a good gig! Congratulations.

BEN
Thanks. I met him already, and he seems like a good guy, if not a little bit intimidating, you know, physically – like he runs a gym. Anyway, like I said, the meeting went well, he wants to work with me, but I don’t have any equipment of my own anymore.

DAVE
Oh? What happened to it all?

BEN
I sold it, when I moved. I needed the money.

DAVE
Even your big desktop computer?

BEN
(forlorn)
Yes. She’s gone.

DAVE
The silver G5? Oh no!

BEN
Yep.

DAVE
She was a thick girl.

BEN
She was very heavy. Yes.

DAVE
But like, naturally thick, not like, air-cooled vegan thick like they are now. You know?

BEN
Yep. Her and I went through a lot together.

DAVE
Should we thank it for its service, like Marie Kondo says?

BEN
No, I’m over it. She’s been gone a long time. Just like everything else. Anyway, if I want this gig, I have to rent the equipment.

DAVE
If you want a recommendation for a couple of rental places, I can text you a list. There’s some good ones around.

BEN
Actually, I wanted to see if maybe, you wanted to help finance. The rentals.

DAVE
You want me to invest in your promo? Why?

BEN
Well, I trust you. You did the work and you got where you are now and I was thinking, well, maybe if Dave & I collaborated together then, maybe this would be good for both of us?

DAVE
I have a good job, Ben. I don’t need a side-gig right now. But if you need money, like I said, I can put in a good word for you. You could start work tomorrow!

BEN
But it isn’t just about the money – I shouldn’t make it sound like that’s all it’s about, cause it isn’t. I haven’t done any film work since I left school. I had all those skills – how to use a camera, Hell, how to hold a camera; the lighting… I can’t tell you about squibs anymore even though I used to know all there was to know about squibs! I need guidance. I need a mentor.

DAVE
I’ve never been asked to be someone’s mentor before…

BEN
That’s what I’m saying to you. The money? It’s a small part. I might not even need it. What I need is a mentor.

DAVE
Aren’t mentors supposed to be older?

BEN
I don’t think it matters.

DAVE
Hmm… this guy who wants the promo done, what’s his name?

BEN
Walden Barnes.

DAVE
Walden Barnes… sounds awfully familiar…

Suddenly, a proper MAN and his WIFE enter stage-right and are heading towards the restaurant entrance. When they pass Ben’s table, the Man stops and shakes his hand. He does NOT acknowledge Dave.

MAN
Ben Brennan. Good to see you.

BEN
(stands up)
Professor! Nice to see you too!

MAN
You’ve met my wife before, I think.

BEN
Yes I think I did, once maybe.
(to WIFE)
Nice to see you again, ma’am.

WIFE
Same to you, dear.

BEN
(to MAN)
You remember my fellow peer, David…

MAN
(to BEN)
So what are you up to these days?

BEN
(sits)
Not a whole lot actually.

MAN
Really? I find that hard to believe.

BEN
If there’s anyone who has something going on, it’s Dave, here! He’s working at “Horizons”…

MAN
“Horizons”. Terrible company. I had to take them to court, they were so incompetent. You know Ben, it’s rather funny I should run in to you like this, because I was just talking about you to some of your other former teachers. You were an excellent pupil.

BEN
Thank you. You know, I was just talking to Dave here, and we might be doing something together, the two of us…

MAN
What was the name of that one film you directed? For the Cinematography course? The one about the Chinese immigrant child?

BEN
…I don’t really remember.

MAN
Oh go on, I know you know – the one where she gets sold on the Black Market…

WIFE
(to MAN)
Was it “The Time of Cry”, dear?

MAN
(to WIFE, sternly)
Honey, what did I tell you about correcting me when we’re in public?

WIFE
I wasn’t correcting you, dear – I was just reminding you.
(to BEN)
He watches your little student film all the time.

MAN
(to WIFE)
We’ll be discussing this later.
(to BEN)
Yes, The Time of Cry – that’s what it was called.

BEN
(to MAN)
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Sir, but I’m not sure if you know – I actually made that as an attack piece.

MAN
(to BEN)
Oh?

BEN
Yes. I wasn’t fitting in at school so what the girl went through, symbolized what I was going through at the time.

MAN
Then why was she Chinese?

BEN
That was a non-sequitur. It’s not supposed to mean anything. She could have been Bosnian.

MAN
Wow. I can see it now. Good job.

BEN
Really?

MAN
Oh yeah! Half of what we taught you all in class was to help you articulate your vision. So as far as I’m concerned, you achieved what you set out to do, so it was a success.

BEN
Thank you, Sir.

MAN
In fact, I think you have actually added to my enjoyment of your film, now that I know what’s really going on between-the-lines. It wasn’t every day a talent like yours came along.

BEN
I did drop out, Sir. I wasn’t enjoying myself.

MAN
Sometimes you have to put in the work to reap the benefits, son. It would be a shame to let all that training go to waste. I could put in a good word for you if you ever want to come back and finish your degree.

BEN
That’s really gracious of you to say, Sir. If I ever decide to do that, then I’ll make sure to send you an email.

MAN
Don’t let me down. You’d be an asset to the industry, so long as you have your degree. Only one life, my boy! Only one!

At some point in the preceding conversation, the waiter enters with Ben’s meal. He offers salt & pepper, and leaves. This still doesn’t divert the proper Man’s attention from Ben: he is DELIBERATELY ignoring Dave, while his wife stands beside him patiently. Ben doesn’t touch his food.

MAN
I see you have a spare chair. Mind if I sit down? We only came for a coffee.

BEN
Actually, Sir, this time I do, only because I have a meeting here I need to get back to. No disrespect.

MAN
None taken.

BEN
But this restaurant is excellent. You’ll love it.

MAN
Ben, if I’ve learned anything from working for every production house in the city over the last fifty years, its that I should know where to find a good meal!

BEN
I’m sure you do, Sir. Wonderful seeing you both.

MAN
You too. Take care, Ben.

WIFE
Bye now!

The proper man exits stage-left, into the restaurant.

BEN
(to DAVE)
Wow. I am so sorry about that.

DAVE
That’s fine.

BEN
Pretty rude of him to ignore you like that, wasn’t it?

DAVE
It’s okay.

BEN
Do you think he got the two of us mixed-up?

DAVE
No, I think that was all about you, dude. Anyway, back to your job.

Ben picks up his cutlery: he’s ready to eat now. He prepares his napkin.

BEN
Yes.

DAVE
What did you say the guy’s name was again?

BEN
Walden Barnes.

DAVE
Walden Barnes, huh?

BEN
Do you know him?

DAVE
Big muscular British guy? Big long beard? Tribal tattoos down both arms?

BEN
You do know him! Small world!

DAVE
(facetiously)
Yep! And he’s a criminal!

BEN
What?

Ben puts his utensils down.

DAVE
When school finished, I took on odd jobs, and some of them were with guys we… uh, I mean, who I graduated with – Jonathan; Melissa; you know, that group. And one of the jobs was to shoot & edit footage for a commercial for “Walden’s Gym”. That’s the place, isn’t it?

BEN
Yes.

DAVE
Anyway, he turned into an asshole, and didn’t want to pay us. That was our mistake: not getting an advance. It just seemed so legit: going to his gym; making an ad… and then, if that weren’t bad enough, he complains that the footage isn’t good enough, and that he wants us to reshoot it! What a sleazebag.

The waiter enters.

WAITER
(to BEN)
Sir, how is the meal?

BEN
It’s fine.

WAITER
It looks like you’ve barely touched it. Can I help with anything?

DAVE
(to WAITER)
You can fuck off!

The waiter fucks off, stage-left.

BEN
I sure wish I would have known about this.

DAVE
You would have if you were online. I posted all about this guy when this happened, you know, was all “don’t do business with this guy, he’s a dick”. But that was a long time ago, my friend. I thought I wouldn’t hear about him again. So he’s still running a business? Some people.

BEN
…Wow.

DAVE
Wow is right. And, unfortunately, my friend, that’s all the time I have for you.
(calling to stage-left) Waiter! Check!

BEN
You’re leaving already?

DAVE
I am leaving already. Duty calls. I told you I could only spare what time I had. Life in the film industry is an ever-churning pail of butter, and we are all but little butter-churning persons. But it was nice seeing you. I’m just going to go and settle the bill with the waiter, but no rush for you! You stay, eat, enjoy!

BEN
Well, can we meet up again sometime? I owe you a burger!

DAVE
Yeah, maybe. It was really hard even to arrange this meal. But hey, we’re “friends” online now, right? Catch up with me on there, okay?

Dave stands to leave and the waiter enters with a debit machine. Dave taps his card without looking at the bill, and he waves to Ben as he runs off stage-right.

WAITER
(to BEN)
You really should try it, Sir. Wagyu beef is known for its excellent marbling.

BEN
…Excuse me?

WAITER
Us young folk need to stick together.

The waiter smirks and walks off stage-left. LIGHTS DOWN.

//jf 8.20.2022

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Photos in order: Charles Parker; cottonbro on Pexels.com.